I usually don’t get morning wood, but this morning….wow.
June 2012
32 posts
I’m off from work until July 9th. Time to grow out my sparse facial hair!
(And perhaps write that RodeoH review I’ve been meaning to do)
Breast cancer genes
I just spoke with one of my cousins on the phone. Her mom (my aunt) is a breast cancer survivor, but had a recent scare at one of her check-ups. My aunt has made the decision to undergo a double mastectomy in September. Similarly, my other aunt on that side of the family just underwent a double mastectomy due to cancer and is currently recovering. I have a second cousin on that side of my family who has breast cancer, too.
Given the genetic predisposition of breast cancer in our family, my cousin told me that once she has health insurance, she is electing to undergo a double mastectomy as a preventative measure. She suggested that I do the same.
Hmm. I’m not sure what to make of all of this. As you know, my number one reason for not pursuing top surgery is that I don’t want to risk losing erotic nipple sensation, since it plays such a big part in my sex life. However, after talking to my cousin, I feel slightly torn. I think I need to process this more.
Tumblr, what are your thoughts on weight-lifting gloves? I am proud of the callouses that decorate my palms, but people who receive massages from me feel otherwise. Do weight-lifting gloves impact your performance negatively at all?
Re: gender neutral facebook timeline
unwieldykakapo replied to your post: do you know how to make Facebook timeline gender neutral?
The closest I’ve gotten was removing my gender entirely? You go to Edit My Basic Info, and can leave Select Sex as just “Select Sex” and uncheck “Show my sex on my timeline.” BUT there are places it will not quite work. Facebook still insists I’m my sister’s brother, because apparently the word “sibling” is too hard? On our “friendship” page they refer to us as siblings so I don’t know what’s up with that.
do you know how to make Facebook timeline gender neutral?
No, unfortunately. Anyone know how to do this?
NYC Pride Weekend
If you live in NYC or are visiting NYC this weekend, here’s a list of some of the events going on, aside from the big corporate pride parade in Manhattan.
Friday:
Queerball Radical Street Party
Saturday:
Pre-Dyke March/All Day Girl Pride Party/Fundraiser
Bacon Boobies: A Pride Party Presented by Woahmone and The Spectrum
Sunday:
Everybooty Too!: Pride Day Party
2nd Annual Pride on the Beach (clothing optional)
Color Me Queer (for queer POC and allies)
All HRT information compiled into a handy source. →
trans-health.com
HOLY FUCKING SHIT. Anyone who plans on taking HRT without a prescription from your doctor (via ordering on-line or some other method), this website has all dosages, amount of times you take daily, the specific names of the prescriptions, how you administer them, all the “red flag” side effects to look out for, etc. etc.
Please pass this along!
How much can you bench-press? I'm just curious because you definitely possess quite an ideal physique.
Thank you. I can currently bench press 95 lbs for about 6 reps.
hey friend, could you edit the word "headdresses" from the "visual spectaculars" section out of the event listing for queerball? folks are still reblogging it from yr page.
Sure - thanks for bringing this to my awareness.
Sweat-soaked binders: difficult to keep on, difficult to take off
QUEERBALL STRIKES BACK! A radical queer street party →
facebook.com
Friday, June 22nd at approximately 6:30
…because Stonewall wasn’t the beginning and marriage isn’t the end!
MEET US: At the end of the Trans March! Gathering at 6:30pm in Washington Square and leaving at 7pm. Look for the Queerball Banner on the edge of the Trans Day Of Action Rally!
DANCE, DISSENT & TAKE THE STREETS TO: Tompkins Square Park & the Drag March! Dancing and chanting facilitated by the RUDE MECHANICAL ORCHESTRA!
THEN GATHER: outside of Stonewall after the Drag March, for a glittery, theatrical Anti-Awards Ceremony, paying sarcastic tribute to some of the jerks who’ve sold us out!
WHY?!
Because it SUCKS (and not in a hot way) to not be represented, and to be misrepresented, by mainstream Pride celebrations.
Because we CAN’T BUY LIBERATION with corporate-sponsored Pride — but we can come together, dissent, and have rowdy fun for FREE.
Because we, too, get to make & TAKE UP SPACE for ourselves and our own politics.
Because radical queerness has to be about DISMANTLING SYSTEMIC OPPRESION including white supremacy, capitalism, the class system, ableism, colonialism & imperialism alongside (and not after) homophobia, transphobia & patriarchy.
Because we want space to BRING TOGETHER folks of many queer identities, rather than dividing and subdividing ourselves into segments or fighting over identity & territory.
Because we’re hot, we’re diverse and inclusive, and we’re gonna be SEEN & HEARD.
BRING?!
Noise & Music Makers: buckets, drums, pots & pans, tambourines, horns, kazoos + tools to get us dancing through the streets.
Posters: make your politics visible with messages that show that “Stonewall wasn’t the beginning and marriage isn’t the end!” Think NYC budget cuts to homeless youth, the prison-industrial complex’s targeting of QTPOC, the appropriation of queer movements by corporations for profit, the promotion of gay rights to mask human rights abuses… oh my! *
Visual Spectaculars: costumes, hats, boas, bow ties, sparkles & glitter, whatever makes you feel queer + whatever makes you feel sexy.
Mobile Talents: hula hoops, stilts, acrobatics, contortions, face-painting, tarot reading + DANCE MOVES.
Every queer, homo, gender-transgressor, radical, alphabet-soup-inspiring, awesome, fun, or angry person you know or like.
WHO?!
You. Me. Your besties. Your lovers. Your comrades. queerball@gmail.com.
Regarding Callen-Lorde providing therapy
Here are some of the answers I received:
“They do have therapists, as well. It’s usually interns that stay for a few months, and then leave (at which pint they put you on a waiting list for a new one).”
“ Callen Lorde does not do regular therapy long term. They will refer you out. You can call them and get a list of people they recommend. Also the center.”
“ They do indeed! But I think it’s just for patients receiving medical care as well. They have group counseling for others.”
“ I go to Callen-Lorde but I’m in the HOTT (youth) program and don’t know about the adult program. But I do get regular therapy there, in addition to other health care.”
Coupon Code: 15% off at Babeland
Enter “40534”
Kink Negotiation Worksheet →
docs.google.com
Step One: What Do I Want?
My kink role is______________
(Dominant, submissive, top, bottom, switch, slave, Master, pet, owner, girl/boy, Mommy/Daddy, vanilla…)
My level of kink experience is _______________
For me, kink is ________________
(a fantasy, a hobby, a fetish, an orientation, a community, an experiment, a lifestyle…)
I want to play because ________________
(I’m curious, I’m horny, I want catharsis, I want new experiences, I want to please my partner, I just do…)
When I play, I want to feel ____________________
(turned on, scared, safe, powerful, humiliated, sensual, in control, out of control, pushed to my limit, cared for…)
Step Two: What Will We Do?
The one thing I would most like to experience today is __________________
Do I want to engage in dominance/submission, physical play, or both? ___________
Do I want to act out a certain role or scenario? ______________
Do I want to feel/inflict pain? ______________
Do I want to engage in bondage? ____________
Do I want to use toys?____________ If yes, which ones?______________
Do I want to have sexual contact? _____________ If yes, what kind?_______________
Is it okay if I get/give marks? ______________ If yes, where? ________________
Do I want to play in public, with selected people present, or in private? ____________
Step Three: What Will We Not Do?
My safeword is “RED” or __________ (If I cannot speak, my nonverbal safe signal is ___________)
If I use this word, it means play needs to stop RIGHT NOW. Whether I am a top or a bottom, I can use this word at any time for any reason. I will never use this word as a joke or threat. I will never debate or criticize my partner’s use of this word.
My caution word is “YELLOW” or _____________
If I use this word, it means I am getting close to my limit, or I am having a problem. Play needs to pause RIGHT NOW until we both understand and have addressed the problem.
My relevant health concerns are ______________
(STI/STDs, mobility/flexibility limitations, seizure disorder, pregnancy, clotting disorder, prosthetics/implants…)
If I have PTSD/panic attack/phobia/other psychological triggers, they are______________
(certain words, being called certain names, being touched in a certain way, being unable to move…)
If we have sexual contact, we will avoid STI transmission and/or pregnancy by _______________
Is there anything else my partner should know about me, my needs or my desires?____________
Holly Pervocracy, 2012.
www.pervocracy.com
Feel free to copy, share or modify.
hi, sorry for the random nature of this; i think i'm transgender and have been exploring a lot of blogs and stuff. watching videos too, some about things not to say to trans*people. i'm worried that stuff i think is somehow insulting to trans*people, such as, when people show before and after (hormones) photos or post voice clips, i often think they look/sound a lot better. like they've grown into themselves or something, and it's hard to imagine how they were before. just wondering whether that's something you're not "supposed" to say/think, because on a video it said something like don't tell a trans*person they look good if you're going to qualify it with something about transgenderism. ugh, confused, but just looking for opinions.
I think it’s fine for you to think to yourself that a person looks or sounds better, especially when it ties in to the knowledge that they are feeling more comfortable with their gender presentation with the assistance of hormones. However, if you’re interacting with a transgender person you don’t know very well or a stranger, it might be best to keep those opinions to yourself to prevent a potential misunderstanding.
For me personally, I like getting compliments on any noticeable changes I am exhibiting, but I understand that for others, it’s a touchy subject.
Good luck to you in exploring your gender identity.
I was checking out your Tumblr and you go to Collen Lorde, correct? Do they just give hormones or do they have therapists too? I'm having trouble finding a therapist..
Yes, I do go to Callen-Lorde. I’m not sure if they have therapists there - followers, do any of you know?
I just found out that “Ask Me Anything” box has not been sending me notifications. If you sent me anything recently, I will get back to you later today.
5 months on T cream
Two days ago marks 5 months on T cream. My report continues to be that my changes are so gradual that I don’t really notice them from month to month. I know that my happy trail has spread since being on testosterone cream, but it isn’t something I feel I can verbally quantify on a monthly basis. Video coming soon.
Complete Eradication of Pronouns
Some days, I don’t want any pronouns.
Example:
Leo said Leo doesn’t want third person pronouns used to refer to Leo because Leo’s relationship with pronouns is complicated.
A resurgence of bottom surgery thoughts
I found out during one of the workshops at PTHC that a simple meta release with Dr. McGinn in Pennsylvania costs about $4,800. While that is a huge amount of cash, it’s so much cheaper than I ever imagined bottom surgery costing. Bottom surgery always seemed very inaccessible to me; the thought of spending over well over $10,000 and potentially traveling to another country for surgery just never seemed like something I could even consider. Hmm.
Best of Philly THC
During Friday and Saturday, I was able to attend several workshops at the Philadelphia Transgender Health Conference. Two of the workshops really stood out to me in terms of content, organization, execution, and engagement:
Trans Feminism and Trans Womenism: Trans Women Speaking Speaking Truth to Power
The three speakers on this panel were passionate, powerful, and eloquent. They tied the feminism movement from the 60’s and 70’s to today’s struggle against misogyny and trans misogyny, in particular. The panelists spoke critically of the current state of the trans* and queer communities, in which trans males are generally given more power and respect, while trans women continue to be outcasted through invalidation and erasure.
Below the Belt: Lower surgeries for men of trans experience
This was a one of a kind workshop in that not only did it provide an in depth overview of the current bottom surgery options available for trans* guys, but also had a very unique “show and tell” component, in which participants showed the results of their lower surgeries to the audience. One participate showed a “simple release” meta, another showed a meta with scrotoplasty and urethral lengthening, another showed a complete phalloplasty (including “pumping”, demonstrating how the penis becomes erect), and another who had undergone a few stages of phalloplasty but was not complete. In addition to showing their results, the participants answered questions about their genitals before and after surgery. The session also included a slideshow that included several images of post-op folks during various stages of recovery.
Unclassy moments in Philly
Last night, I went to the OP party after the conference. The celebration was held at a bar that predominantly caters to the cis gay male community. After several drinks, I needed to urgently use the bathroom. I meandered among the three floors of the bar in search of a restroom with a toilet bowl, but they all seemed to have urinals. When I finally discovered the restroom with a toilet, people were saying it was “broken”. I explained the situation to my friend who was there, and he told me to get a glass, urinate in it, and dump it in the urinal. We found an empty restroom and he guarded the door while I filled a pint glass to the brim. I feel very fortunate that my friend helped me out, but wish peeing at this bar didn’t have to turn into a whole awkward ordeal. The bar closed at 2 am and I had to pee again during my walk back to the hotel; I found an ally and squatted.